Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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