i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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