the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
