i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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