What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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