I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
