If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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