Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
