hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
