fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
