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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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