i don't like sucking hair
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
