You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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