She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
