Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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