i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
