Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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