I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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