you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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