You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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