i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
