What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
