Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
