im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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