Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
