Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
