if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
