Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's never too late to be topless.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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