So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
