My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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