If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
