I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
