Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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