Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
