I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
