Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I forget how to act sober
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
