It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
