Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
