My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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