Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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