Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
