no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
