I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
