i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
