I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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