He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
