im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize