I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I am naked and annoyed.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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