dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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