Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
