I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
