Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
