So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize