How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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