marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
