Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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