DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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