ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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