Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
