I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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