You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
