you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
